Goldilocks
by Naidoo
Summary: Giving the fairy tale a Stephanie Plum twist. With her apartment burnt down, Steph needs a new place to stay. Three-Part story. Will be a BABE HEA obviously...
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Couldn't sleep so i decided on being productiv. I had an idea like this a while back but my first draft back then sucked, so i decided to channel my insomnia tonight and see where it leads me now. I am not sure about the second chapter yet. I know where she'll stop in the third one though, but for the second I'm undecided. Lula or Lester come to mind, but... hm... not sure. I might probably go with some RangeMan though. I'm open for suggestions ..._

* * *

I finally did it. I finally managed to get my apartment fully burnt down. Including the bathroom and its hideous tiles. Though, I myself couldn't take too much credit to be honest as it was more the work of my latest lunatic FTA who apparently might have been a tad too big for me to handle. But the money that would have been mine if I managed to capture him was too good to pass. It was like the carrot dangling in front of a rabbit. I should have known better.

Now I stood outside my building, surrounded my residents that watched the spectacle unfold in front of us together with me, the press, the firefighters and Morelli next to me. Morelli was his usual self – wild gestures, plenty of Italian yelling and the occasional "I told you so" thrown in. Some things in life just never change. I was holding Rex's in his aquarium in my hands and a handful of panties – the only two things I actually managed to save before the flames ate everything else.

Seeing my apartment in flames had good sides – as well as bad ones obviously. The good side was I would finally no longer have to look at these godawful tiles in my bathroom, and my kitchen would probably get an upgrade as well. The bad thing? I was sort of, very much homeless for a while. Of course, there were always my parents, but really… that wasn't an option for me. I was too old to move back to my parents and not dead enough yet to endure my mother's daily musings and speeches about me getting hopefully married eventually – preferably to Morelli – and start to pop out kids.

Morelli next to me let out a sigh. "Guess that means you are staying with me for a while." And then he walked towards his car. Guess I wasn't homeless any longer. Though I had hoped he would be a little more …enthusiastic.

I trotted after him, put Rex on my passenger seat and followed Morelli out of my parking lot and to his place, glad I didn't have to make the trip to my parents. I was sure come tomorrow morning my mother would have heard the newest story about me from several different sources in different versions. So no need to call them right now.

I got Rex settled in Morelli's kitchen and dumped my handbag that had been in my car while my apartment burned down on a stool. The few panties I had saved from the fire were put in Morelli's bedroom. It seemed silly, seeing that all I really had on me were the clothes I owned. Everything else had been reduced to ashes – well except for the handful of panties, but they could hardly be considered clothes.

Not surprisingly the fact that I was pretty much only owning panties now as clothing was all it took for Morelli to get into the mood. I was grateful for the distraction and felt like a butch for having such a thought. But when you place burns down you technically have other things in your mind that your boyfriend's libido. Well… not Morelli.

After four days with him I was going insane. If he wasn't lecturing me on how I should quit my job and marry him and become the Burg wife my mother wanted me to be, he expected sex. We had been staying at each other's places before, but usually was it only for a night after sex. We hadn't really tried _living_ with each other, at least not recently. And while Joe seemed perfectly fine with this situation, I wasn't. I didn't want to spend my days hearing him nag about stuff I was set on doing. If I wanted that, I could have gone to my parents.

Housework was ok, but in general it was more than what I was used to. I never had realized that Morelli was a neat freak. While I didn't live in a dump, I also wouldn't have advised to try eating of my floors when my apartment had still been livable. Morelli was… different. And there was a moment several times where I wondered whether he didn't just see me as his maid who had way too much time on her hands due to a rather low-season in the bounty hunter business.

Also… sleeping in the same bed as him was not ideal. Turned out he took over almost his entire bed, forcing me almost out of bed several times the past few days. I haven't fallen out yet, but I guess it would only be a matter of time. And he hogged the sheets and comforter, leaving me freezing at night since he refused to turn on the heating, seeing it wasn't winter yet. Also… his mattress was kind of …through. It was too soft and probably could have done with being replaced with a new one. Most nights I either spent turning from side to side, hoping to find a way to fall asleep on his rather uncomfortable mattress. Or fight him for the covers. Or space.

One night I actually decide on trying the couch, having decided I needed a somewhat decent night of sleep. The next morning we had an argument about god knows what and I figured us living together wasn't working for either one. And maybe the relationship wasn't working for either of us anymore as well.

"It is a mattress, Cupcake," he said to.

"It actually is more than that. I mean, yeah, the mattress is a part of it and it is a question of comfort. But it's also about the covers and the space and … everything really. Maybe this isn't working for us."

"The living together?" he asked, moving closer. "I know a thing that works great for us…"

His smile indicated he was thinking about a bed right now, just in a different context than me. And that was something else. Sometimes it seemed as if Morelli was solving conflicts with sex. While in general that wasn't the worst of things for de-escalation it was also annoying at times. Because – and I couldn't believe I was saying this – but sometimes you had just to discuss stuff and solving it with sex was only postponing things.

"Not just the living but… everything. Us. Maybe we are just not working out," I clarified and saw him look at me confused. Guess he wasn't expecting me to break up. Especially not over something as trivial as sheets, covers, space in bed and mattresses.

So I took Rex and my handful of panties, along with the few items of clothing I either had bought by now or had collected from my parent's place and drove away.

This hadn't worked out. And maybe I needed a new plan. My parents surely weren't a plan. They were the very last option if all failed.

Let's hope it didn't come to that.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: and here is part II. Someone mentioned why she doesn't just go for Ranger right away... well... first of all Steph was still with Morelli. Also it will be explained in the next chapter. Thanks for reading my musings. :) Characters beling to JE, mistakes are mine!_

* * *

I knew my friends were always someone I could count on in moments of crisis. So after having left Morelli behind and finding myself once again homeless I made my way over to Lula's. She was the first to offer me shelter, even before Morelli had gotten around to do so.

I had turned her offer down in favor for Morelli, assuming moving to him temporarily was a good way of seeing how married life might be one day if I ever should come around to agreeing to marry him.

Lula was living off Stark Street – not the best area in town but her rent was minimal. I knew she didn't have a lot of space but she worked wonders with what little space she had. She had offered me her couch and I was grateful for it. Though, once seeing my sleeping quarters I wasn't feeling thankful much longer. The couch had seen better days for sure and could probably do with a good cleaning session. I wasn't fuzzy or picky, but when sitting down and being almost swallowed by the couch… was not a good sign.

Lula had already put a pile of cushions and blankets aside for me so I was covered – giving I actually ever made it up – or out – of the couch. The good thing was I at least wouldn't have to fight someone for the blankets –or space.

Lula had a small studio which was filled with obnoxious mismatched furniture and presented a wild mix of colors, patterns and materials – much like her wardrobe to be honest. It was cozy and inviting but made you often look twice and occasionally shake your head. But it had LULA pretty much written all over everything.

Dinner had been from a local take-out fast food joint and our entertainment was a semi-decent TV show, followed by some old Christmas classic on TV.

The night had been eventful to say the least. Living in an area like Lula had the advantage of cheap rent – since no one really wanted to life here. Why no one wanted to life here? Well, it might have had something to do with the screaming matches late at night that took place outside. Or the constant honking from cars a street over that probably signalized interest in the local ho's. Or the guns that were fired. There was a time when I thought a war was raging outside judging by all the noise. Asking Lula the next morning she only looked at me curious.

"Must have been a one-time thing…" she said shrugging. Just… the next few days it was the same. Lula was out like a light, snoring at a noise level that matched the activities outside and probably therefore not realizing what happened in her _hood_ at night.

Living with Lula was adventurous to say the least. While Morelli was sort of the neat freak, Lula was the complete opposite. Dirty dishes in the sink that towered probably in another week up to the ceiling, the trash overflowing with takeout boxes and the likes, clothes laying on every surface and piece of furniture. The bathroom was small and had me actually wondering how someone of Lula's _stature_ ever fitted in there, but I guess like almost everything in her life, she somehow made it work.

Another sleepless night later I must have managed to doze off since when I opened my eyes again I saw Lula next to me, gun drawn in her hand and running for the door, screaming something along the lines of "no one touches my baby."

I contemplated for a moment whether I should point out that she was only wearing a bra and spanx-hot pants and that maybe she should throw on a T-Shirt or a blanket, but she was already gone…

Five minutes later she was back, out of breath and apparently out of ammo.

"That'll teach them…" she said, walking back towards her bed. As if nothing had happened.

"How did you know that someone was messing with your car?" I asked curious. I hadn't heard anything other than the usual guns being fired.

"White Girl, my Baby has a special security thing…" Lula said, as if that was supposed to explain anything. "

"So… how come you hear that special security thing but seem deaf to the war ragging outside every night?"

"What war?" she asked and wondered whether I was the only one hearing the noises. I went over to one of the windows and opened it slightly so the outside noises could be heard more – not that you couldn't hear them beforehand.

"Huh," was Lula's only response as if she had only heard about that now.

When Lula's run for her car repeated itself twice more that night I decided that maybe this wasn't working out. I hadn't managed to get a decent night of sleep in almost two weeks when counting Morelli and Lula together and I was starting to feel the effects.

I hadn't figured out that finding a decent place to sleep was so hard but as in true Stephanie Plum fashion, even the smallest thing weren't normal for me.

"Why you packing up?" Lula asked confused the next day when she spotted me putting the few things I had have by now away in my small bag.

"I decided to stay at my parents. Thanks for letting me crash here for a few days but your place isn't made for two people," I said, smiling at her.

"And you really want to get back to your parents?" she asked incredulous and I understood.

"Well…" I started, not entirely sure whether that was my best decision. But Morelli hadn't worked out. And Lula, as much as I appreciated her offer and her help wasn't working out really either. Mary Lou and Val both were no option seeing their houses were mayhem with all the kids.

I was certain I only had to ask Lester or Bobby or any of the other RangeMan guys and they'd happily offer me shelter and a couch as well, but… I didn't want to impose. These guys already did so much for me on an almost daily basis, the last thing I wanted was to also crash on their couch and take over the little Plum-Free time they had.

I called a cab and gave him my parents address. It couldn't be that worse, right? RIGHT?

Well…


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry this took forever to bring to you. I had the actual illusion part three with ranger would be the easiest to write, but guess what? It wasn't. Not sure why. I re-wrote this chapter quite a few times and am still not 100% happy with it... Thanks for sticking with me. Enjoy!_

* * *

It is no secret that my life had always been accompanied by mayhem. And that of course hadn't changed much since my apartment had burned down. From all the options I could have chosen my first choice had been Morelli in regards of shelter for the night and the next few days. He was my boyfriend and I figured we could also use the misfortune of me being homeless as some sort of test-drive for living together. Little did any of us know that this test-drive would end our relationship because it turned out Morelli and I weren't able to live together.

Getting a restful night of sleep was impossible and I was close to move myself to the couch. After I left Morelli's place and life I tried my luck with Lula and her place just to realize getting a good night's sleep at her place was just as impossible – but for different reasons than it had been with Morelli's.

I figured my last shot would be my parents and started my journey across town. I wasn't exactly excited about that idea, knowing it wouldn't take long for me to get either suicidal thoughts or commit a murder.

Technically there was another option, but I was rather reluctant to use it. Ranger had been out of town and the country for a while now. He was off to save the world and his place was unoccupied. But I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't use his place. I was already feeling guilty for all the cars, manpower and jobs he pushed my way. Whenever I was in trouble Ranger was there to save the day and occasionally my life. I relied on him too much for a thirty year old that by now should have managed to lead and independent life.

After a night at my parents I knew better. Between my mother's constant nagging and asking when I'd finally do the right thing and quit my job, marry Morelli and start popping out kids and the fights between Grandma Mazur and my father I decided I could give Ranger's place a try. For a night. Tomorrow I'd look for something else at one of my other friends or even a hotel room.

The moment the door of Ranger's apartment on seven fell in the lock behind me I relaxed. His place had a certain serenity about it that was hard to explain. Outside could be a ragging gangwar or snowstorm. The world could end. But up here you felt safe and warm and relaxed with no worries on your mind. I had sought out his place several times over the past few years. Mostly to escape gangbangers or other people after my life.

He had a housekeeper who was a heaven sent, sheets on his bed that made you feel like resting on clouds and a shower that smelled like paradise and evoked a certain reaction in me every time I took a sniff. Of course I wouldn't make use of Ella. I was here for a good night's sleep and that was it. His sheets and shower however were a different story. Come tomorrow, I'd call MaryLou or Connie and see if I could crash at theirs, but for tonight… I enjoyed the luxury of Ranger's sanctuary seven floor up from the world that was passing by.

The fact that I wasn't fighting for space or needed to worry or falling of a couch or out of a bed with every turn was celebrated by me immensely. It was after all sometimes the small things that made a difference. After almost two weeks of sleepless nights, fighting for covers, space, comfort, silence, peace and warmth I slipped under the covers of my personal heaven for a night and was asleep before my head hit the pillows.

Some time during the night I woke, turned more or less still asleep and noticed something was different. Strangely enough it took me several moments to figure out what it was. I wasn't any longer alone in bed. I was halfway to full mental breakdown and freak out when I realized I was at RangeMan. This was probably the most secure building in Trenton, if not even New Jersey. Also… last I checked people didn't break and enter just to lie down next to you in bed. Well… unless you are Brad Pitt of course. But… that was an entirely different story.

After calming down enough to not freak out and go into nervous breakdown mode I realized something else. The scent that was attacking my nostrils was a familiar one. And wasn't it my luck that the first night I slept at his place the man of mystery would return? He couldn't have taken another night to get back?

I decided to do nothing, keep my eyes and closed and see what would happen. Maybe if I pretended to be asleep this whole thing would go away by itself. I know, childish, but well… what could I say? Let's blame my sleep-deprived mind on it.

Of course my plan had one flaw. Ranger. And his jedi-mind tricks. Leave it to him to know I wasn't asleep.

"Babe". Depending on his mood it could mean anything really. Right now I guessed it was a mixture or curiosity of why I was in his bed and also amusement. Yes, because I was Ranger's never-ending supply of entertainment. And that now sounded way dirtier than it actually was, really.

"I needed to get away from …stuff for a while," I offered as answer to his unspoken question. Might as well give up the pretending.

"And with stuff you mean Morelli, Lula or your parents?" he asked curious. Leave it to Batman to know about my latest mayhem. I let out a sigh, but refused to open my eyes.

"Maybe," I answered non-committal and in my half-asleep state turned around, curled into him and decided I should get back to sleep. I didn't even realize what I'd done in all fairness and only somewhat became aware of it when his arms slung around my waist and pulled me closer.

It wasn't a move that was unusual, but it wasn't really usual either for us. We led a weird dance where we never really found the same footing with the exception of one or two nights in all these years. In regards of where this was heading or what we were to begin with, Ranger and me were on two different sides. Ranger once said to me his lifestyle didn't lend itself to relationships and I get it, I really do. With the job Ranger had it was hard having any kind of relationship when every day could be your last.

"Maybe Babe?" he asked, sounding amused once more.

"It's just…." I started, mumbling into his chest. "When my place burned down my first choice was Morelli to go and seek shelter." I explained my story, but was pretty certain that Ranger already knew every single detail.

"Turns out we can't seem to even share a bed together, how the hell are we supposed to share a life?" I asked.

I figured the rumbling beneath me was Ranger laughing. Or at least chuckling. He didn't often show emotions that reflect amusement or even a smile. But I figured when he did, I was almost always the only one who was graced with it.

"Lula is a great friend but I guess the area she lives in and my basic requirement for life – as in not getting shot while sleeping – don't mix well either. I was about to make it over to my parents place when I realized that…" I stopped, not sure whether I should continue.

"When you realized what, Babe?"

"When I realized that you aren't in town and I always liked your place. And your housekeeper. And your sheets. I figured I'd spent a night and find alternative sleeping arrangements tomorrow. I just… I need just one night of uninterrupted, perfect and blissful sleep. Not more."

"And you thought you'd find it here?" he asked.

"Well, you weren't here, your guys don't have access to the apartment and I figured when a war breaks out my safest bet is RangeMan anyway."

There was silence for a moment and I figured if I'd move my head to look up at Ranger I'd see him smile – or doing his version of a smile anyway. I wasn't sure what he was thinking right now and him throwing me out in the middle of the night wasn't like him…but I figured before he might get that idea I plead my case.

"I… just… need one night. I'll be gone tomorrow, I promise. I deal with my parents or Valerie or whoever else I can think of letting me stay at theirs for a while tomorrow. But tonight… I just need uninterrupted, blissful sleep."

"And you think you'll find that in my bed?" he asked, amused once more.

"Well…" I started, not sure how to finish it. Mainly because he had a point. A moment later I felt the mattress shift and his arms being removed from my waist.

"Where are you going?" I asked confused. He had more or less just gotten here and was already leaving?

I watched him move around the bedroom, grab a few sheets and cushions. "To the couch…"

"I… why?" I asked, now even more confused. Was I such bad company?

"So that you get your blissful night of uninterrupted sleep and I don't have to fight the urge to devour you…"

"Um…" I only managed to reply, swallowing the big lump that had apparently formed in my throat. "I don't want to throw you out of your own bed," I stated, remembering a similar situation between us a few years back when I was hiding here from a Slayer-member.

"You're not, no worries. We'll talk in the morning about further _sleeping arrangements_."

After his _departure_ out of the bedroom I returned back to my task of falling asleep, snuggling into the soft sheets and finding the best possible position and it didn't take long for me to be out like a light.

Next thing I know I smell the heavenly scent of coffee somewhere next to me. Opening my eyes I see a cup of coffee right in front me, followed by Ranger, who looked like he just stepped out of the shower – his hair was still damp and his upper body sported several missed water-drops. I wouldn't mind tracing these water drops and….

"Babe…" I heard his low rumble. One look up into his face and I knew I once again hadn't used my brain-mouth-filter.

Sitting up and resting against his headboard, I took the offered cup of coffee and busied myself with something that didn't include talking. Or responding to him.

"How was your night of uninterrupted sleep?" he asked, sitting down on the mattress next to me.

"Like heaven…" I almost sighed. I couldn't help it, he really had sheets that were unbelievably amazing. "Thank you. I'm not sure I could have survived another night of gang-wars, fights for space, blankets or …anything really. I will be out of here as soon as I had a shower."

"Don't leave on my account, Babe," was all he said.

"Ranger, you just came back from god knows where, after undoubtedly having saved the world single-handedly once more. The last thing you need is a roommate."

"True, I really don't need a roommate," he said and I saw him slowly move towards me. "But then again you aren't really a roommate, are you?" he asked and I wasn't really sure he expected an answer. He took my coffee out of my hand and placed it on the nightstand next to us.

"What… what am I?" I asked after a few moments of silence and so much electricity between us we might have been able to power Trenton by ourselves. He had moved even closer and I think his closeness was making me dizzy. But then again, Ranger. He had effects on me that couldn't be really explained.

He moved even closer, until his lips were brushing my ears. "Whatever you can think you can handle," he almost whispered before bringing his lips back into my view and pressing them to mine a second later.

I had been totally blindsided by his move and was shocked for a second. It wasn't as if he we somehow hadn't been at this crossing before. There were always kisses and touches and other things, but they never led to anything – other than electricity.

I could have spent my entire morning like this, with him … well…devouring me – just like he actually had almost warned me about last night – but leave it to the Man of Mystery to interrupt that little fantasy of mine.

"I have meetings to attend and actually make sure Santos and Tank haven't managed to run my company into the ground…" he started explaining when he pulled back from me. "But my day might pass a lot quicker when there's a promise of you being here still when I get back…."

Another kiss that I might have used to get more out than what he had planned, but… well.

"You sure you want me as a roommate?" I asked. "Morelli found out the hard way I'm not as easy to life with as he had thought…"

Ranger untangled himself from my rather tightly locked arms around his neck before getting up and giving me a look. "Morelli is an idiot to begin with…"

I couldn't really argue with that and instead watched him move around the room, picking up his uniform for the day which was pretty much the same stuff he wore any other day at RangeMan.

"And as said before, you are not a roommate, unless you necessarily want to be…"

I sunk back into the sheets, reaching for my coffee again and watch him leave.

"Oh…. One more thing, Babe," I heard him say before he reappeared into the bedroom."

"What's that?" I asked, sipping my coffee.

"You do well to remember: One night of uninterrupted and blissful sleep is as far as my chivalry extends…" he said in a low voice and gone he was.

 _Hotflash anyone?_ Maybe I should make that shower a cold shower….

 **#-#-#-#-#-#-THE END-#-#-#-#-#-#**


End file.
